Our Journey to Mia Grace

Monday, March 31, 2008


You know, it's tough keeping air in those tires.


A few weeks ago, Jim Gum (our new executive pastor) led our staff in the "Life Balance Wheel,” a tool that helps you assess your life’s overall health. Here’s how it works: you are asked to consider the different aspects of your life as a slice that makes up a tire (such as exercise, romance/intimacy, family and friends, personal/spiritual, etc) and then rate each slice on a scale between 1 – 10. The overall goal being, well, a tire that rolls smoothly.

So I filled out my wheel.

After finishing, I stepped back to view my work. My Life Balance Wheel was, in a word, a jalopy. It was flat; as in kansas flat. It was deformed - with a tumor on one side and a sinkhole on the other. Swing from it, children would not. Touch it, Sanford and Sons would not. Push it down a steep hill and this tire would sound like – to borrow a phrase – shoes in a dryer. Seven of them.

I once had an actual tire like this. It finally went completely flat outside our house one day. Elise told me to call Triple A, but - naturally - I opted to change it myself. You know, jack it up, pop ‘er off, and do the old swoperoo.

When Triple A did come, we were no longer worried about just the tire.

Such is the state of our lives when we fall out of balance. All our tires lose air at various seasons in our lives but the goal is to avoid structural damage. For me, my tire has everything to do with our burgeoning family. Elise and I now have virtual twins as Brianna and Mia are just four months apart. And I must say that I've never felt more blessed and stressed in my entire life; never has more been required of me. Our lives are full, and they are clearly not our own. This is not the season for exercise. This is not the season of lattes. This is not the season of date nights - unless American Idol counts. In short, this is not the season of dan.

The support of our friends has been exceptional. I have noticed, however, a very interesting trend. I cannot count the number of times people have encouraged us with the verse that says, "God won't give you more than you can handle." A good word, one that I have readily agreed with many times. In fact, I have often repeated it to others myself. But recently the thought occurred to me, "Where exactly is that verse?"

So I looked it up.

Turns out it's not in there – the Bible, that is. It's an aphorism, but not a verse. Ranking right up there with "hate the sin, love the sinner" (which is Ghandi) and "God helps those who help themselves" (which is, um, Foxworthy). The only verse that comes remotely close is 1 Corinthians 10:13.

You see, not only is the phrase not in the Bible, it is also theologically untrue. God doesn't want to give us more than what we can handle. He wants to give us what we can't. He wants us to so helplessly fall in a crumbled heap before Him and cry "UNCLE!!!" (or, better yet, "Abba!!!") God isn’t looking for us to "handle" all of this... He’s not asking us to be God, but to just let Him be - through the touch of friends...the timely Scripture...through desperate prayers...sleepless nights...and holy nudges.

He’s looking for the flat tire, not the full tire - saying “Come to me all of you who are jalopies.” He wants people who have crashed to their limit, who trust Him ruthlessly, and who find Him to be far bigger as a result.

Or at least I hope He is, now that Elise and I are pregnant again.

3 comments:

pam said...

Oh no, Keiffer and Bower are going to be out numbered.

mcdmom said...

Hold on tight, it's gonna be a crazy ride and if you blink they will all be walking down the isle!! So embrace every moment for what it brings, tears, frustration,laughter and unbelievable joy! We share in your delite.

Sean and Paige Whiting said...

Good work, Deebs. On oh so many fronts, good work. God is gracious, to say the least.