full circle

You know, it's tough keeping air in those tires.

A few weeks ago, Jim Gum (our new executive pastor) led our staff in the "Life Balance Wheel,” a tool that helps you assess your life’s overall health. Here’s how it works: you are asked to consider the different aspects of your life as a slice that makes up a tire (such as exercise, romance/intimacy, family and friends, personal/spiritual, etc) and then rate each slice on a scale between 1 – 10. The overall goal being, well, a tire that rolls smoothly.

So I filled out my wheel.

After finishing, I stepped back to view my work. My Life Balance Wheel was, in a word, a jalopy. It was flat; as in kansas flat. It was deformed - with a tumor on one side and a sinkhole on the other. Swing from it, children would not. Touch it, Sanford and Sons would not. Push it down a steep hill and this tire would sound like – to borrow a phrase – shoes in a dryer. Seven of them.

I once had an actual tire like this. It finally went completely flat outside our house one day. Elise told me to call Triple A, but - naturally - I opted to change it myself. You know, jack it up, pop ‘er off, and do the old swoperoo.

When Triple A did come, we were no longer worried about just the tire.

Such is the state of our lives when we fall out of balance. All our tires lose air at various seasons in our lives but the goal is to avoid structural damage. For me, my tire has everything to do with our burgeoning family. Elise and I now have virtual twins as Brianna and Mia are just four months apart. And I must say that I've never felt more blessed and stressed in my entire life; never has more been required of me. Our lives are full, and they are clearly not our own. This is not the season for exercise. This is not the season of lattes. This is not the season of date nights - unless American Idol counts. In short, this is not the season of dan.

The support of our friends has been exceptional. I have noticed, however, a very interesting trend. I cannot count the number of times people have encouraged us with the verse that says, "God won't give you more than you can handle." A good word, one that I have readily agreed with many times. In fact, I have often repeated it to others myself. But recently the thought occurred to me, "Where exactly is that verse?"

So I looked it up.

Turns out it's not in there – the Bible, that is. It's an aphorism, but not a verse. Ranking right up there with "hate the sin, love the sinner" (which is Ghandi) and "God helps those who help themselves" (which is, um, Foxworthy). The only verse that comes remotely close is 1 Corinthians 10:13.

You see, not only is the phrase not in the Bible, it is also theologically untrue. God doesn't want to give us more than what we can handle. He wants to give us what we can't. He wants us to so helplessly fall in a crumbled heap before Him and cry "UNCLE!!!" (or, better yet, "Abba!!!") God isn’t looking for us to "handle" all of this... He’s not asking us to be God, but to just let Him be - through the touch of friends...the timely Scripture...through desperate prayers...sleepless nights...and holy nudges.

He’s looking for the flat tire, not the full tire - saying “Come to me all of you who are jalopies.” He wants people who have crashed to their limit, who trust Him ruthlessly, and who find Him to be far bigger as a result.

Or at least I hope He is, now that Elise and I are pregnant again.

a couple of tom sawyers...

speechless

We just received a sneak preview of some pictures that we had professionally taken. Feel free to view the slideshow: www.jamiemillerimages.com/slideshows/B&M

Mia's First Birthday Party!

Mia had a huge day. First, her inaugural visit to church. I heard she was typical p.k. - crawling around like she owned the place. Then, her big birthday bash. Nanna and Poppy, J-Bug, Mei Mei, B & E, Aunt J, Mamma K, her cousins and all of her other special friends came - some from hours away! Mia loved her gifts and cards but didn't quite know what to make of the Bunny Cake. She picked at it delicately but she never quite got into the full thrashing that we hoped for. But, never fail, daddy stepped up and showed her the ropes.

Sisters...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIA GRACE!!!

Mia, if you only knew how much we love you...how much joy you have brought...how much richer our lives are because of you. Since our "gotcha day" less than 2 months ago , you have captured our hearts to their core and it's hard to remember what life was like before. In the least, it wasn't nearly as fun nor as full.

happy birthday our sweet,

mom and dad

little reminders...

{Above: Bri and Mi try out their new side-by-side stroller, which is far more fun b/c they can kick and hit one another}

Musings: It's amazing how many reminders of our "new life" follow me wherever I go. For example, I was at Panera the other day for a meeting. It was a bit cold that morning so I had thrown on a hooded sweatshirt on my way out. As I stood in line to order, I absentmindedly put my hands into the sweatshirt's pouch - only to feel something that I was not expecting.


Now, it's not unusual for me to find leftover tidbits in my pockets. A few bucks maybe, or a golf tee, or dice - you know, the usual. But, no, those were the old days b/c on this particular morning I found a diaper. I pulled it slowly, sheeplishly out and studied it. oh yeah. It was a Pampers....size 2...had a little blue Grover smiling back at me.

thankfully, it was clean.

bono beware

Mia received some early birthday presents from kind friends in California. Among their showering of gifts were these rockstar shades.

some girls were just born for shades...

Mia's Goes Home From the Hospital

2 exhausted parents, one brave girl.

we're home (again)!

Some of you may have heard that we had to admit Mia into Children's Mercy on Monday due to a staff infection in her ear. Originally they feared that she may have developed mastoiditis - which would've been an even bigger deal. Fortunately, a C.T. Scan showed no such thing. They did have to perform a small surgery to drain the ear canal, keep her on an I.V., and coup her up in room #329 for 3 days. But we are now home and have one happy little girl back!

more to come.

all is well at 5801...

After one full week of being back on the job...we're feelin' pretty good. Elise, being that she was once a systems architect and solution provider, has been making some mighty fine adjustments around here. Case in point: the L.L. Bean thermos. Since Mia needs her bottles SCALDING hot and she wants them, like, yesterday (this is one difference between the sisters. Bri lets you know by way of request. And Mia, by way of protest), it has been a challenge to have that bottle ready RIGHT when she wakes up. There's always been a good, solid 7 minute delay to prepare the bottle, warm the water, etc. Until, that is, Elise figured out the L.L. Bean thermos method. Yes, indeed. This thing can hold its heat. It's unbelievable. So, get this: we boil the water when we go to bed and then when Mia wakes up in the morning, we just add water and stir baby! It's a beautiful thing and makes you want to cry.

As for my contributions as of late, I hired some housecleaners called Partners in Grime, the man of action that I am.

Lastly, Mia is simply doing incredible. It is absolutely amazing to watch her make up for lost time, lost touch, lost food, and lost love. All of her medical tests (which are too numerous to count) have come back negative and, developmentally, she is doing remarkably well. We just saw a physical therapist today to get a general assesment and the gal was really impressed with her physical strength and coordination. I don't want to say it's ALL because of our little daily strength and conditioning exercises we're doing together out in the garage, but they certainly aren't hurting.

Mia's throwing back her carrots and oatmeal like Kobayashi and she now poops with the best of them (in a diaper, thankfully). She also crawls for speed and distance. My favorite moment to date was when I came home from work yesterday: she let out a high pitched squeal from the living room, dashed through the hall, peeled around the fridge and headed right for me. I bellyflopped onto the kitchen floor and she hugged me for dear life.

dude.

Updates...

Well the girls are certainly having fun together. Too much fun, really. Naps are a mere nuisance when they could be wreaking more havoc about our little home. In the bottom picture, Brianna shouts a tip to Mia about us, "Hey, with the dogs we outnumber them!" In the top picture, Mia is simply working her Brown Steel.

Tomorrow is my first day back to work. I genuinely am worried about how Elise will manage. She doesn't feel all that great physically and the "twins" are not exactly BabyWise. If anyone can do it, though, it's Elise. She's strong. She's smart. She endured Mizzou.

Being in China with Mia and staying home these past two weeks has birthed in me a deep compassion for mothers who work at home. Yesterday, for example, Elise got to go to the doctor and so I had the unique task of watching both girls - which I've done before. But this timespan involved two feedings and two naps. I've logged the timeline below:

2:00 pm - bri goes down for a nap (not without a fight)

2:10 pm - begin prepping mia's food (chicken purree, carrots, pees - all natural - then bottle)

2:30 pm - finish feeding mia

2:35 pm - put mia down for a nap

2:39 pm - bri wakes up

2:39 - 2:55 pm - daddy stalls and lets her squak so that, in part, he can finally use the restroom

2:55 - get bri up

3:15 - begin prepping bri's food (oatmeal, organic banana, and store bought pees)

3:25 - mia wakes up while feeding bri

3:25 - daddy holds bri in one lap and feeds mia in the high chair

3:40 - "play time" on the living room floor

Compassion. It means, literally, to "suffer alongside."

So, yes, I invite your prayers for Elise and, yes, I - ahem - am quite ready to return to work. But I will miss those girls and all the little things, new things that they do each and every day. I am also extremely grateful for the abundant amounts of time that I did have away. What an incredible church I get to serve in - that they, again and again, bless our need to put family first.

About Mia:

* She has more flexibility than gumby. If she doesn't end up running the free world, then it's possible that she could star in Cirque du Soleil...or become the first female blue man. I'm not sure, but either would be cool.

* Mia also has major rhythm. Her favorite is the ABC song. Whenever it kicks on, she gets this smile and starts to rock back and forth. We've also written a little song together called "Diggin' to China" which she likes to sing in my lap and do her rocking jig. Don't get me wrong, she's into it for all of 10 seconds before she's off to steal whatever toy Brianna has.

* We pray for the day that she wakes up no longer afraid that no one will come for her.

* We took a family outing to the Oak Park Mall today. Holy Cow strollerville. It was mom rollerderby out there. Very few Dads were there, though - the bums. The few I did see were toting hot pink shopping bags. It was Valentine's Day. Anyhow...I guess this is what Moms do. They go to the mall, push their kids around in an attempt to keep them quiet, and then windowshop. All the while, signs hang overhead that read, "Treat Yourself - Indulge in a little Retail Therapy." Another one says, "Have a little more 'me' time." Which are both code for, "We know you can't possibly buy anything right now. So go home and unload the kids into Dad's arms with a look that says, 'whatever happened to you today couldn't possibly be worse than what happened to me' and come back ready to buy all that you deserve!"

So it was fun - kinda like I stumbled into a whole new underground subculture. And we fit right in - except for the fact that we were the Mac Truck, 18-Wheeler version in our double-long. Mia is so far out there in the front seat that I wish we had an in-stroller innercom: "Paging Mia Deeble....Paging Mia Deeble...You're wanted at the back of the stroller..."

* I went to the dentist on Monday. It was beautiful. I now love the dentist. You arrive and they let you wait. So you get to read. Then a pleasant person calls you in and invites you to lie down in a leather chair. It even has a neckrest. There's music - bad music, albeit, but thankfully it's not the Beijing Angelic Choir. And all you have to do, for the next hour, is open your mouth. You don't even have to talk much. In fact, it's preferred that you don't. Man, it's heaven. Third tier, really.

ANNNND, to top it off, they bring you a hot wash cloth to wipe your face clean. You know, they did this on my international flights too (and, yes, i was on a coach ticket). But, I gotta tell you...a warm towel goes a long way. I think it's the airline's way of saying, "You're finally here. You've worked hard just to get in this seat. So wipe your stress away." I think we should do this at heartland. At the end of the service, we could send the ushers down the aisle with carts, metal tongs and a smile. It would be our way of saying, "We're finally done."

In any event, i think it would be nice.

Presenting Mia at CHI's Meeting...

On Monday night, we had the privilege of presenting Mia to the expecting adoptive parents at the monthly CHI meeting. For over two years now, we have attended the meeting and our favorite part has always been seeing the new babies that were introduced. It was always the light at the end of the tunnel and would give us hope in the midst of our wait.

And just about every parent would conclude their time by saying, "It was well worth the wait." Which was, on the one hand, encouraging and...on the other deflating - just because the wait was so cruel for us all.

So when it was our turn, we presented Mia Pu (as the picture will show her and her sister sporting their only matching and far over-used outfit to date), told a few stories, answered a couple of questions and then concluded sheepishly with, "It was well worth the wait."

Simply because she is.

New Pix!

Butde sent over some pictures of our trip on her camera. Here are some of my favorites:

Love...

Love. What a mystery - particularly in terms of capacity.

When marrying Elise, I had no idea - no idea how deep the well could go. Before, I was afraid of losing a part of me, of not getting enough "Dan Time" which 29 years of bachelorhood had more than amply conditioned me for. What I found, in the universe of covenantal love, was that "Dan Time" had changed its definition, and certainly its course. Turns out that I now have all the "Dan Time" I could ever want...it just almost always includes - desires - my bride.

Of course, we all need our alone time and, no, this is not about becoming co-dependent or enmeshed or whathaveya. It's just that love changes things. It expands. It always makes room for more.

So when I went to China, I worried again about love's capacity. How could I love Mia, I thought, with the same depth and intensity as I do Bri? Because when I look at Brianna, I think "You are so beautiful. THE most lovely, in fact. I love you with every ounce. I could not love you any more than I already do. There is no comparison."

Now a week after returning from China, I hold little Mia in my arms and I also think, "You are so beautiful. THE most lovely, in fact. I love you with every ounce. I could not love you any more than I already do. There is no comparison."

Love. It's an amazing thing. How it does that.

A Boxer on the Ropes - Part 1 and II

Mia used to sleep like a champ. Now she fights like one.

Our Dogs...

I love my dogs, still.

Yesterday afternoon was teed up rather nicely. We were able to mix in a pediatrician's visit for Mia, a chest x-ray at Children's Mercy and a blood draw, and Elise even got to go to her Bible Study. I felt accomplished b/c I filled up the minivan with gas. We both ate BackYard Burgers.

As it neared 2 PM, we drove home from the hospital with a sense of victory; of parental conquest. And it was only to get better. The girls were hungry, they were tired, and they were short on naps. I turned to Elise as we exited onto Johnson Drive and whispered, "Honey, we might get them down AT THE SAME TIME!"

You know, I keep seeing my life as if it were an American Express commercial, the narcissist that I am. Like the one with Tiger Woods where you see him tirelessly practicing his iron game outside in a monsoon. Narrated in his own voice, you hear him conclude, "My life is about never settling. That's why my card is American Express."

In my commercial, I'm tiptoeing away from the crib. I'm picking which floorboards to avoid. I'm thinking how great it would be to finish the dishes. I'm wondering if I should get dressed and then I wonder why. I'm cheering the sun on to melt the snow in our driveway so I won't have to shovel it. I second guess whether the CD in Mia's room is loud enough or if the baby white noise -trickling-brook-machine in Bri's room is too loud. I grab half empty bottles and bibs and toys and soiled clothes on my way down the stairs. I fear that the slightest sound down each step will cause our other daughter to stir. I wonder if Elise wants to play Speed Scrabble.

And I think, "My life is about warmed bottles and well-timed naps. That's why my card is American Express."

Anyhow, as I said, yesterday was shaping up to be a banner afternoon. Bri and Mi went down like Shatto. So we figured we had at least 45 minutes to ourselves - which, I'll have you know, is really not "to ourselves" - unless you consider dishes, laundry, and food prep as foreplay. But we made one fatal error. We did not lower the blinds. We did not pre-empt the bark. We did not anticipate the outside-afternoon-walker. Heaven forbid, a neighbor decided to go for a walk. With their dog. In front of our house. Right in front of our raised blinds.

A firestorm of barking erupted from the living room. Elise ran in from her laundry piles and hushed them. I held my breath at the sink. One second...two....three...four...a glimmer, a hope, maybe we're gonna make it, I think....

Brianna began to cry, then scream, and then demanded an unconditional release. Mia soon followed with the terms.

Like I said, I love those dogs. But this doesn't mean that I didn't want to shoot them. And the neighbor. And whoever put sidewalks on our street. I mean, who would have the GALL to go for a walk right in the middle of the afternoon! Naps are a sacred thing. They are holy. They are like salt water pearls. They are like In 'n' Out fries. They are like Spring Training. Naps are THE American Express Card to sanity.

Keiffer and Bower are the work of 2 more babies. They cry and claw at you for attention, they throw their balls and dolls at you, they push their empty bowls around the kitchen floor, they demand to be held. Notice, in the picture above, the splintering veins in my forehead. This is no accident. It is metaphor. It is Robert Frost, where two roads diverge. One road with dogs and the other without.

Later that evening, hope had resurged. Since they now were lacking TWO adequate naps...we were primed to get the girls down and down for good. We were also hoping that Mia would have a bowel movement on her way out - since she had been stopped up for nearly four days. The Miralax had first worked its magic earlier in the day while I had her at the pediatrician's - which was timely since they had also been waiting for a stool sample (Is this too much information? I'm quickly learning that Parents lack the discernment to know b/c, to us, it's ALL important). We were hoping for more since she was considerably backlogged. Well, the moment arrived in the late afternoon. And it was serious... so I ran her upstairs, into the bathroom, and started her bath. I changed her diaper, disposing of it temporarily in the waste basket. We got her cleaned, changed, and was transitioning down for the night when I found Keiffer in the bathroom. She was being quiet. Unassuming, like. Turns out she had fished out the diaper that smelled like a toxic lagoon. And she was licking it with joy.

I screamed through my teeth. Then I exhaled and said, "Alright. You get a bath too." Which, as much as she hates a bath, it still is a rather humane form of punishment for a dog. I didn't have the heart to tell her what they do to misbehaving dogs in China. Two words: Butcher Shop.

As an aside, they're all small dogs. China is a small dog country. I don't know what that means but I also asked if they had a "one dog policy" but never got an answer. And, yes, they do clothe them. See below a picture from Nanchang:


So I wonder which dogs they decide to clothe and which they decide to --uh hum. Is one a prelude to another? For that matter, is one fate even worse than the other?

In any event, Keiffer had it off easy. I gave her a shampoo but it was no massage, I assure you. It was more of the Paco variety. And then I went back to the business of getting the girls down. And wouldn't you know it, Keiffer went BACK to the diaper. She had fished it out again. And joy had become her. So I babywiped her mouth. Fitting.

And after all that, she even tried to get into the Diaper Genie that I was in the process of emptying for trash day but had been distracted. My slipper missed that dog by an inch.

Finally, the girls were down. The trash was to the curb. A dear friend's meal was warm at the table. My hands were washed. And I sat down. I sighed. We held hands and prayed. We talked "highs and lows." My high was seeing Mia poop. My low was her slow blood draw. Elise's high was that Mia's tests all returned negative. Her low was how I yelled at the dogs.

"Besides," she said innocently enough. "Diapers don't go in trash cans."

How Is This Gonna Work?

I have left my wife twice now. Once to take Butde to the airport, the second to rake leaves. Both times I returned to find my sweet Elise holding our two girls with a look on her face that said, "How is this gonna work?"

This was different than the homecoming I had envisioned - where I walked into songs and clapping and smiles and a deeble team cheer that went something like this:

Oh Dad, you're home soooo soon

We nearly forgot you were gone

B/c things here are orderly

They are fun, tidy, and calm

Elise and I are a bit worried about how it will go when I return to work. So it was late one night, after the girls had been put down, that my wife rubbed the back of my neck ever so softly and whispered, "Maybe you could become a professional blogger."

You know - in hindsight - I found her to be unusually complimentary of my work. Turns out now that it was all a subtle ploy to keep me here. In this house. Forever. Where I push pillows around all day long to cushion little falls. Where I live for American Idol at night. Where I might even watch the Pro Bowl.

Elise just figured that I could sign up a few sponsors, throw up a daily post or two during naptime, and then help her referree the rest of the time. I'm flatterred and all, but no thanks. This "stay-at-home-thing" is far too demanding a gig. It requires an evolved power that I don't yet possess. It calls for an intelligence that borders on clairvoyance. It bids the selfish to come and die.

No. I'd much prefer to pastor a church, thank you.

Besides, I worry about material. I mean, we're just your average family with 2 girls only 4 months apart, both under the age of one. We're not dealing with newsworthy stuff here - other than the usual challenges of parenting two very different children. One child, for example, was born for the California sun and the other will wear Coppertone like Desitin for the rest of her life. They have started to squabble like sisters do - generally b/c one thinks she IS the party and the other is afraid the party will end every time she closes her eyes.

China Crisis...

As many of you know, we were in China during a time when they were slammed by the worst winter storm in more than 50 years. Fortunately, we were able to make it out with little Mia. However, the storm continues on, causing an unfathomable swath of suffering in its wake. You can read about it in any numerous of places such as http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2008-01/29/content_6427295.htm. I've also blogged a bit about the experience and can tell you first-hand just how unprepared they are for such a crisis. It did not appear that they had snow removal equipment, they do not treat the roads (with salt, chemicals, etc), and their overall emergency response system seemed extemely lacking.

Public transportation was a nightmare. In Nanchang, for example, while we were waiting for our plane there was what appeared to be a riot among the people who were trying to get on a plane. The airport had been shutdown for hours and people grew panicked. In more than one province, we heard reports of the military having to restore order among the travelers. And this was before the worst of the storm had even hit.

In Guangzhou, even, where they typically enjoy sub-tropical weather, there were lines of people waiting for a train that went for blocks outside the station. People just stood there, clutching their luggage and bracing themselves under protective layers.

For individual families in the Jiangxi province, it is not unusual for there to be air conditioning but there are almost never any furnaces, boilers, or heaters of any kind. I asked our local guide, Cindy, what people do during such harsh conditions. She said something to the effect of, "It just doesn't normally get this cold and so people just stay indoors and try to stay warm." Perhaps this is, in part, why the Chinese are so big on wearing layers and obsessively bundling their children.

And lastly, you can imagine what such conditions means for an orphanage. Below is an email that we received today from our adoption agency. It really hits home that, in the Jiangxi province for example, our little Mia could be one of those little ones having to survive these conditions.

"Dear Friends of Children's Hope,

South China has been hit by massive winter storms and frigid temperatures that have devastated entire provinces, causing water shortages, power outages, and freezing deaths. Few people have heaters or other cold weather resources in this sub-tropical climate, and most orphanages are ill-equipped to keep the children warm and fed during this crisis. Join the emergency effort to reach more than 1,000 children in 10 orphanages in the hardest hit areas with warm clothes, bedding, heaters, food, water, and other critical supplies - go to www.HelpAnOrphan.org or Click Here to learn more from Melody Zhang in Beijing and find out how you can help. Thank you for sharing your blessings with children in need.

The Children's Hope Development Aid Team.

note: the first picture was taken from tigardtimes.com. The second picture is also not my own.

Pictures...

Play Time for the Girls!

There's Been Lots of This...

This has been my favorite position as of late: on the floor, hugging the carpet and being hugged by the munchkins. Elise calls it the "Daddy Junglegym." So cool.

We're so grateful for all of your prayers and care. Many of you have asked how we're doing and I want to say thanks for allowing the blog to be our primary way of responding. To understand why, again, I refer you to the picture.

As for our days...Bri wakes at 6:30, she's changed, fed...then Mia wakes up. She's changed, fed, and then they both play together for 45 minutes before Bri is fed and goes back down. Mia follows an hour later and then Elise and I get a total of 9 minutes of down-time before Bri stirs. Then Bri is up, changed, fed, and then Mia wakes up and is changed, fed and then they play for a total of 30 minutes together before Bri gets her bath, a bottle, a burp, and then she's down. Mia follows immediately: bath, bottle, burp, bed. The 4 B's are a beautiful thing.

We bought a white board for the fridge to keep track and log all their activities. So glad I married a project manager.

The goal of survival is to have them both down by 7:30 - in a staggered fashion. Then, Elise and I prep for the next day by doing laundry, dishes, and cleaning up the toy creep about the house. My personal calling for these two weeks is to help Elise get at least an hour to herself in the morning. A shower, a cup of joe, maybe even a devotional...before the first darling dawns.

Mia is adjusting to her Mommy, I think, really well. She's beginning to smile and laugh with Elise and is starting to look at us interchangeably with a need. Last night, Mia woke up just as we were about to turn out the lights. We fed her another bottle - thinking it was gonna do the trick. Not so much. It was as if she discovered her room for the first time. I gave her the ol' "bounce to sleep" bounce but she was a wild-eyed-wonder...I could just see her brain clicking, "Hey, look at those butterflies hanging from the ceiling! And the flower on the crib bumbers, and the basket of toys, and what's that thing hanging in my crib??? Is that for me?" The little Fisher Price crib thingamajig had her up for another 45, easy.

Turns out it took her two whole bottles and some Tylenol (ear ache still in effect) and a bouncing, holding tag-team among Elise and me to get her down. This was unusual for her and we're wondering (hoping) if jet lag is still lingering a bit.

Brianna is adjusting fairly well too. At times, she laughs at Mia and reaches out with a toy to share. At other times, she'll look at Mia with this confused stare that says, "You're still here???"

As for Keiffer and Bower, just as high maitnenance as ever.

Sadly, we put Butde on a plane today. She had to get back to Winter Park to be with Papa and their guests that were also arriving today (can you believe it?). What a blessing she was to us. You know, I don't know of too many people who can spend over 2 weeks with their Mom, in a 24/7 fashion, and then be sad to see them go. I am one of the grateful few.

I enjoyed every minute of our time in China and could not even imagine a different traveling companion to stand in for my wife. We had lots of fun, she always had a great spirit, and was so incredibly supportive. Even after we got home...it was as if Butde was oblivious to jet lag. She was up and at 'em early the next morning...cooking, cleaning, laundering, and just all around being available for whatever we needed.

And now that she's gone, reality sets in. Just the two of us taking on the world of bottles, crawlers, and diapers. Well, pseudo reality I suppose. We're fully "game on" in two weeks when I go back to work...

See ya soon, Butde. You have 2 granddaughters who miss you already!

There Are No Words...

Sisters...

"Mi and Bri" are doing GREAT! They're full fledged sisters already - they play together, cry together, steal each other's toys, and are begging me to stay up late and watch "High School Musical."

We're Home!

Just Hours Away from My Mommy and Bri!

Our travel "day" was uneventfully long and painful...but Mia was an absolute champ. Many travelers remarked at how good she was (much to their surprise and relief!).

Mommy, I'm Coming!!!

Mia, Mia, Mia..

A Homemade Vaporizor Effect...

Mia and I have developed a little nightly ritual. She is still so congested and has trouble breathing at night. So, on the nights that we don't bathe (which is also one of her favorite things!), I take her into the bathroom and give her a little ol' fashion humidify by running some hot water in the sink and holding her over the vapors.

The funny thing is she loves it. She just hangs limply over the water and breathes it all in as if she's done it a hundred times before. It's the cutest thing. We conclude the evening with a warm wash cloth to the face and then off to bed.

It Was Worth Every Yuan....

I have not had my hair professionally cut since the summer of 1995. It took place in a little neighborhood shop in La Canada, California and Paco was my barber. It was right after graduating from college and it also was quite momentous b/c it marked the first time that I had my head shaved.

Up until then, I was in the "hair management plan": grow it where you can, then push it around for coverage. I wasn't quite to the "comb-over" stage but, in retrospect, I held on about a year too long. I do wonder now, though, where were my friends to tell me the truth? That less was more. That it's time to worry less about my hair and more about my (head) shape. You know, those would be true friends. But, no, they kept egging me on - saying things like, "Deebs, you kinda have that Bruce Willis (in the Moonlighting era) thing goin' on!" or "Deebs, you look like a surfer." And I'd say, "Really?!" Thinking that I was cool and that they thought I was cool.

Someday, I will write a memoir about my hair. I will call it The Hair Chronicles and it will be funny. And I will name them. But, for now, I blog about my first haircut in over 12 years.

The first thing you need to know is that I needed one. Because when my hair begins to grow out...it does so only on the sides - especially along the sideburns. They get real thick and curly - kinda like a brillo pad meets Princess Lea's ear muffs meets a Chia pet. They also grow out flaming red. I'm telling you, it's not pretty.

Just ask my wife about the time I accepted a bet from (our church's) Management Team to grow it out for a month on the condition that I couldn't tell ANYONE why. I had to preach in it...I led meetings with it...and man oh man..the comments were beautiful. The question I got most often was quite benign: "Dan, are you growing your hair out?" they'd ask.
To which I'd reply, "Yeah...it's in the awkward stage right now."

I won the bet and earned $117 dollars that I used to buy Elise a better Christmas gift - which was a cheap consolation prize in comparison.

So, anyhow, about day #8 on our trip I began to hear things from others in the group like "Dan, your hair is really red, isn't it?" or "Hmmmm....it looks like we're going to get to see what Dan looks like with hair on this trip." Which is nice group talk for "Oh, THAT'S WHY you shave your head." My wife even began to worry about it and sent me the following instant message after looking at the most recent pictures I sent her:

EliseDeeble (12:35:27 AM): you are looking kinda red there budy

Never mind the spelling and the fact that my wife calls me "buddy." Point is, she doesn't like it when I have hair. And since I'M GOING HOME IN JUST 36 HOURS...I figured I better get gussied up. So, I called up the hotel operator and asked for the "Barbershop." They connected me to the "Beauty Salon."

They told me to walk-in and so I did. And, instantly, I felt out of place. I thought to myself, "This really is a place for people with hair." But I kept walking...went right up to the counter and feigned confidence. Told the gal I'd like a cut. She said, "Haircut and shampoo?" I said, "No...just cut." Because it seemed a bit indulgent to have a shampoo when I don't really have hair. I've found that many people are ignorant to the fact that bald men use shampoo - my wife being one of them, initially. As if the words "dry scalp" were a new phrase.

She nodded and led me into a back room. It was fancy. They sat me down in a chair and told me to wait. Everyone was dressed so nice and they all had hair. I felt silly. Every chair had a big mirror in front of it and I didn't know what to do. I wondered if I was just supposed to look at myself until someone came for me.

Then I got to thinking, "You know, I'm here. I'm a paying customer. I have hair. And I'd like a shampoo." So I told the lady. She looked confused, told me to wait, and left the room again. I could hear voices in Cantonese down the hall. I imagined laughter but they were too professional for that. The manager came back and said to me, "I'm sorry, sir, we will give you a shampoo after your cut." Which I guess is in reverse from what they do for everyone else and this is why it required explanation. So much for being equal opportunists. The guy next to me even had a nice cup of tea brought to him. They liked him better.

I wasn't sure if they knew what to cut nor how so I brought along Mia's little baby photo album - the kind with lots of colors and fishes that babies can look at and chew on all at the same time. When she asked how I would like my hair cut, all I had to do was point at the picture of me in there...the me with a perfectly buzzed head...and said, "Just like this." She nodded and lowered the clippers to their smallest setting.

They gave me a paper to read and away she went...buzzing and clipping and blowing for oh, I don't know, at least a minute and a half. Then the manager came in, pulled out a hand-held mirror from behind me and said, "Sir?" I assumed that she wanted me to inspect their work....which I pretended to do - kinda like I do whenever a nice restaurant gives me a sample pour. I swirl, sniff, elevate, tilt, and swash like cyrano but really don't have a clue what I'm doing.

I nodded approvingly and they led me back to the shampoo room. She wrapped my neck in a towel, gestured to a leather chair, and then leaned me back into the water basin. She began to pour warm soothing water over my head and then massaged shampoo into my scalp. I could tell that she was a bit confused and was trying to think creatively how to prolong the salon experience for me - since it really takes all of 5 seconds to shampoo my head. So she repeated a few of the same moves over a second or third time. I think she was trying to imagine shampooing someone with hair.

I didn't care and purred in my inner head, "Paco never did me so good!"

She rinsed me and then enveloped my head with a towel. Then she led me back to the chair. Now, that part was actually the most embarrassing. Because one goes back to the old chair to get dried off. And one needs a towel over one's head to prevent drippage. But, of course, I didn't need any such thing. My head was dry the minute she turned off the water.

Oh, but we weren't about to cut any corners. No sir.

I got back in my chair and she wrapped the towel over my head into the form of a woman's headdress - which, I'm guessing is the beauty salon way of wringing out a squeegee. Not sure, but I made her stop for a picture nonetheless.


note: this post was created while listening to the Beijing Angelic Choir's album entitled "Jasmine Flower." Actually, every post has been entered to this album b/c it is Mia's sleeping music.

mia grace deeble

Mia is...well, Mia. And that's just a beautiful thing. Here are some fun things that I'm learning about her:

• She confuses the changing station for a weight room. Lay her down for a change and she grabs the wipes for dumbbells, pulls herself up on the headboard, or leg presses the diaper bag. And, of course, the little twin bed is her treadmill.

• She didn't initially like heights. I'd hold her up with my arms and she'd shake with fear. No longer, however. I later figured out that this was most likely due to the fact that she was impacted. I mean, if you hadn't pooped in 3 days, how would you like to play the gravity game?

• She is a POWER SLEEPER. Last night, she went over 13 hours and easily knocks out 2-3 hour naps with great regularity. Could be a temporary thing (many babies deal with the trauma of adoption by sleeping), but...for now...it has made everyone happy.
  

• When we first got her, she would rock herself to sleep. In a seated position, she'd pop her fingers in her mouth and then rock side to side....lights out. Incredible.

• She cries a lot in her sleep. It doesn't wake her but I suspect it is part (a) discomfort (b) part congestion/ear ache and (d) I also have a sinking suspicion that it is part sadness.

• She's pretty dang easy...the girl only fusses when she's tired or hungry. Come to think of it, so do I.
  

• Speaking of food, the girl can throw it down. She watches Butde (the bottle preparer) like a hawk and knows exactly when it's being made and where that bottle is at all times. She will pound an entire bottle in under 2 minutes flat. Yes, I am proud.
  

• She enjoys people and has a great demeanor. Sometimes she can be real serious, her eyes searching. Other times, she is just chill. Then, of course, she can be playful and giggle like a schoolgirl (which, in this context, is a good thing).
  

The Red Couch!

My camera is fixed and just in time! We took our group photos on the infamous red couch today. To my knowledge, every family that comes from anywhere in the world to adopt a baby from China stays at the White Swan Hotel. And in the hotel is a rather nondescript red couch on the 2nd floor lobby.

Somehow and at some point, a tradition began among all adoptive families where, before leaving, they must all put their babies together for a group photo on the red couch. Our photo shoot was today. Above are all the little girls from our group: {from left to right} mia, olivia, emma, grace, kaylee and journey!

Aren't they heart-stoppers?

The girl next to Mia, Olivia, lives in Liberty, Missouri...so they are gonna have lots of fun playing together. In fact, they had the same "Nanny" in the orphanage and were dressed in the same outfits on Gotcha Day. So we think they must've been crib mates. Her parents, Tim and Sophi, are extremely fun and - wouldn't you know it - they have an 18-month year old at home. So we look forward to getting together as an 8-some.

Here's a little playtime from Nanchang:

Red Couch....

daddy putting on his first dress for the big photo shoot...and then...the rest is self-explanatory...