"Mia Pu" Has Earned Her Name

I think the first thing you need to know about my daughter is that she is strong. As in, Cherokee strong. If you were to add up all her ailments (ear ache, ear rash, chest cold, some allergy thing I can't yet figure out, and a serious hangnail situation), this little girl has every reason to cry like an Oakland Raider. Then tack on the following:
1. A new caregiver, namely Dad.
2. A new location, namely a different hotel every 3-4 days
3. A different way of doing everything (changing, holding, rocking, feeding, playing)
4. A 13+ hour travel day that required 4 buses/shuttles and her first plane ride
5. Constipation. I mean the poor baby was seriously impacted. She couldn't go for 2 days since Gotcha.

Now, we had heard that many orphans in China are potty-trained before the age of 1 and we didn't believe it. Sure enough. My girl's a genius. They had literally trained her to sit on a potty and, when they would give the grunt noise, she would do the deuce. Automatic. Sure thing. Can't miss. Except for when your world gets rocked and you lose everything you've ever known. That'll plug ya - as it did for all the babies, in fact. So, sadly, we began to see severe signs of discomfort as Mia began to slowly keeling over into a bow position (for those who still stretch or can remember when, her position was akin to grabbing your toes while in a seated position). This would really be the only time she would cry. At other times she'd whimper, but this always caused the real deal.

The second shot above is just after one of the episodes had passed, I believe. It went on like this for a day perhaps - and we felt just helpless. So one night it got so unbearable that I sat with her on the toilet, which didn't work so well b/c I didn't leave much room for the toilet hole. Not wanting her to go in MY LAP, therefore, I carefully just held her over the pot. That freaked her out all the more. Talk about compounding stage fright. By this point, it had gotten REALLY bad, her crying inconsolable.

Elsie, our CHI coordinator, heard her crying from the hallway and came rushing in. Now,what came next was a moment for the ages. She picked up Mia, ripped off her diaper, grabbed a trashcan, and held her over the can, between her legs, and then began rocking her back and forth. Then, she started doing this little chant...it wasn't a hum, nor a lullaby, nor a whistle. It sounded like a British police siren, really...over and over...no words...just this siren sound and a lot of rocking and caressing as Mia SCREAMED and SCREAMED and pushed and pushed.

Meanwhile, I was yelling for the epidural. Then passed out. No, just kidding. But it was THAT intense and I was sitting there, in the words of Bill Cosby, "acting like I was Johnny Bench." I felt a bit afraid, useless, and wished that someone had trained me in Zenpooping too. Finally, it happened. They landed like bullets but were shaped like tree trunks. Horrible to see. And so, like I said, my baby girl is STRONG...not to mention, again, a genius - because that's just what we do now. She starts to keel. I get the can. She starts to moan. I begin shedding her layers. She starts to push. And I hold her over the can trying desperately to remember how a London squad siren goes.

o she's definitely earned our little nickname for her: Mia Pu. Um, this is OUR nickname, mind you...not yours. Give the girl a little dignity, please.

note: still working on the camera malfunction. hopefully new pictures tomorrow.