Mia...I AM COMING TODAY!!!!

I didn't sleep so well last night. Which had nothing to do with exhaustion nor trying. Today is my day to meet my daughter for the very first time. I will never know another day in my life without her. We check out this morning and fly from Beijing to Nanchang where at 3:30 PM, I will hold my little girl.

Yesterday evening required stressful preparations - making sure I had all the right paperwork and the right amount of cash in Chinese dollars (=RMB's). I was so tired that I decided to just plunk down the ridiculous amount of cash to eat in the hotel. Fell asleep waiting for my, um, pizza. (I know, I know...when in rome...but that was lunch).

So I woke up just past 5:30 with the song "Breathe In, Breathe Out" by Mat Kearney. Actually, I've been humming it all trip long. Right now, I have it on repeat on my ipod. A new line has surfaced for me: "We push and pull and I fall down sometimes. And I'm not letting go. You hold the other line."

With all that we've been reading about attachment, it's highly likely that Mia won't immediately feel comfortable with me - being that I'm a man, have red hair, smell different, look different, talk different, etc. Many of these young babies don't attach to anyone and have learned to "self-soothe" themselves and will push everyone else away until they learn to receive a love they have never known. Until they accept that they were made for a Daddy and Mommy.

So, I'm preparing myself for it. Even shaved today for the occasion. Which isn't all that rare except for the fact that I shaved yesterday and, under normal circumstances, it wouldn't have been necessary. But I just thought, "Hey, she's probably used to a smooth face." So I went for a PERFECT SHAVE which my skin just winces at the thought. It is an oxymoron, really.

Mia, I'm coming.